Seems like I haven't updated the blog in aeons. Sadly, all I can think about at the moment is Hamburger Helper. Rather, the *smell* of Hamburger Helper.Let me explain.
See, my husband is an adventurous eater. When he cooks I call it Kamikaze Cuisine because he uses ingredients, more specifically meat, that is just around the corner from salmonellaville. I bought a big ol' honkin 3-lb blob of ground beef that he has been eating off of since way after it first turned gray.In it's freshest state, the beef was chili. The second round was grilled hamburgers. Tonight, in it's final incarnation, before the maggots take over, he is cooking himself some Cheesy Nacho Hamburger Helper. The sizzling concoction, 3 rooms away, smells like sweaty socks (you know, when they begin to smell like vinegar but you keep sniffing them a few times even though they smell bad) with a faint whiff of nacho cheese.I may end up calling a Hazmat team before he is finished cooking. It smells *that* good....Call CTU...the canisters have been released !I need Jack Bauer and a gas mask!
Maybe he is retaliating since I banned him from cooking lamb, squid, clams, liver, and duck in the house. More likely is the fact that it actually smells appetizing to him, much the same way my neighbors trash smells to my dog. Men...dogs...further proof that they are definately wading in the same gene pool.
Now you may have observed that it is, indeed, Valentines Day and are wondering why we aren't at a romantic dinner somewhere together.You quite possibly have noticed that it is also 11:00 pm by the time of my post. So why on earth, you may ask, is my husband cooking himself dinner and I am messing about on the computer ? Well if you actually know us you wouldn't really think it was all that unusual nor would you think the same of Oscar's menu choice.
Here is just a samlping of some of Chef Oscar's more memorable food pairings:
Breakfast:
6 eggs,4 sausages, half a jar of Spanish olives, red wine, milk
Lunch:
4 Hot Dogs on wheat bread with mustard and ketchup
half jar of pepperoncini
Yuengling beer
(this one he eats weekly)
Dinner:
Grilled liver and steamed clams (*ugh!* I know!)
Cold can of weiners and beans
red wine
milk
Another infamous dinner:
Boiled Squid (squid juice for dessert!)
French bread
cold can of sauerkraut
It's the truth folks. I have spent the last 9 years as witness to his bizarre culinary episodes. I guess it could be worse if he were to weigh 400 pounds and sit around eating ice cream and twinkies all day, but he's in terriffic shape so I really can't complain too much. Guess I'll just have to get off this computer and light some incense :)
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